Declutter and Recycle Ritual #1: Unpacking Pieces of My Feelings and Energies from 2019.

‘Your heart is a closet in your body, declutter it regularly’ — Me, to Self

This package contains my feelings and innate energies from 2019.

One day last month, I was thinking about starting blogging about my conscious living journey — how I have become so concerned about the social and the environment while living in my everyday consumer society. And then I realized, one of the reasons I want to blog (apart from to share with people how conscious living can be so enlightening and fun in the same time!) is to put my voice out there, to tell the world who ‘I’ am.

‘Conscious’ living is actually starting from the ‘self’. Really, this is a fact! You really need to be conscious about ‘who you really are’ before being conscious about the society and the environment, they are all connected! I tried the other way round and found coming back to ‘Self’ is always the first priority.

So I picked this package as a pilot for my first declutter and recycle ritual journal.

I have been having one-on-one art psychotherapy sessions since October 2019 until now, and this package is a collection of all my in-session works from Oct to Dec 2019. It contains my feelings in art forms.

No, I’m not writing this to talk about my mental status.

I only want to share how unpacking past feelings (in my case here, I will demonstrate in the form of touchable materials) and decluttering the already-finished businesses are as important as decluttering your clothes from your actual collapsing closets or tidying out your old stuff from your bedroom.

So, here we go.

Unpacking the wrap, I could actually feel the feelings luring out. On the last session of 2019, I integrated all the works together into this (it’s actually doesn’t look like how it was due to delivery) — It was my ocean of feelings with me on my boat, sailing through.

Opening it up, I actually felt the waves of old feelings washed up towards me. The smells, The tastes, The Feelings.

This is my boat in 2019.

It demonstrates my boundary, safe space, where I can take things I need with me wherever I go. (I took the ‘Me’ out to work on with my later works, so there won’t be the ‘Self’ here) It looks very messy and heavy, compares to my boat now. So I started empty it out, as I have my new, lighter boat now. :)

These beads demonstrate my voice.

I started to declutter the work by collecting the beads that were splashed all over the oceans like ‘screams’. Put it back together in my glass of voice to strengthen my voice and make it become solid, assertive, and controllable, instead of going all over the place. (which would sound like kids yelling, that would be an extravagant use of energy.)

These are the pieces of feelings that I will continue to work on as some are parts of the self-identity, some are the energy I need to focus on these days, and some are the feelings that were created from the wound and it’s still unfinished business.

These are the past phase.

They will go to the trash.

They are feelings and stories I already let go. looking at them, I can remember that it was very ‘heavy’ but I don’t actually feel the feelings anymore. :)

(FYI: In order to keep my stories aside, I won’t name the feelings here even though I’m surely aware. And I feel the feelings are mixed anyway, depending on the issues. That’s why you won’t feel ‘that’ again — for example, my past hatred won’t feel the same as the hatred I have now)

And don’t underestimate, they might look simple but they are the hardest! It took quite some time to get me puke all these shades of black out of my body, and even longer to make me see them as beauties. though I finally appreciated to have them in my past self, they’re better be out now! :b Now thank you and goodbye.

These materials were separated from their parts and are NEUTRAL now. They will go to my recycled material box! And will be recreated and become new feelings and energy again! looking forward to working with you again!

Finally, these are neutral small elements and used taps that will go to the bin. thanks for being there. ;)

This package was sent from my therapist 3 weeks ago and I’ve left it in the corner of my bedroom deciding what to do with it. Some parts of me might still be holding on to the sense of regret when thinking of deconstructing the work I’ve made all by hands (Similar feeling with the indecisive moment when you want to let go of your nice clothes before donation or a swap).

There were efforts, creativities, feelings, moments and stories. But letting go of these old feelings is a great practice that can prep you for new stories, feelings, creativities, and efforts that are actually happening in every moment too. (Just like yoga!)

Today, after unpackaging and let go of the already finished feelings in my body, I feel a great wave of relief.

It’s the touch of a breeze that blows away though my body alongside a beautiful and refreshing wash-away big wave.

I know that the new ones will keep coming and I am ready.

Because my heart is a home in my body, and I’ll keep tidy it regularly.